LotR Christmas!
by Tengasha
Summary: Christmas carols Lord of the Rings style! Ch.16 now up!
1. I'll Be In Mordor By Christmas

A/N: Ok. So I really like reading other peoples LotR Christmas carols and I figured WHY DON'T I WRITE SOME? And here they are. So being as I doubt anyone ever reads these anyways... On to the first one!!!!

**I'LL BE IN MORDOR BY CHRISTMAS**

I'll be in Mordor by Christmas

You can count on that

Ash will snow and lava flow and the sky will be pitch black

Christmas eve will find me

Where the evil breeds

I'll be in Mordor for Christmas

Down by the Nurnen Sea

Ok so it's short. I'm hoping to have more soon. I know there will be at least one but you'll have to wait. Reviews make my world go round!


	2. Here Comes Sauron

And here is the next twisted song from my twisted mind! NOW WITH TWO VERSES!!! Enjoy!

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HERE COMES SAURON

Here comes Sauron

Here comes Sauron

To take over Middle Earth

With Saruman and Balrogs and all his army

Swarming all the way

Swords are gleaming and people screaming

Everyone's running in fright

Evils coming so say your prayers

'Cause Sauron is coming tonight

Here comes Sauron

Here come Sauron

The great big flaming eye

Looking for the ring bearer

Is how he spends his time

Orcs are marching, the sky is darkening

Mordor's winning the fight

Come and join us and you might live

'Cause Sauron is coming tonight

A/N: Ok so this one is short to. And as a warning so is the next one. I've been meaning to mess with a longer one but I haven't gotten around to it yet. No not all of them are going to be evil but most of them will be. For some reason that just comes easier……. huh. So check back for I'm Dreaming of the White City! It should be up tomorrow or the next day…… or at least some time in the next week. -_-'

Please Review!


	3. I'm Dreaming of the White City

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Your opinions make me HAPPY!!!!!!!!

*in sarcastic voice* Now who can tell me whose point of view this song is from?

*blank stares* Well you have ta read it first!!!!!!!!

**I'M DREAMING OF THE WHITE CITY**

I'm dreaming of the White City

Just like the one I used to know

Where the buildings glisten

And if you listen

You can hear silver trumpets bring you home

I'm dreaming of the White City

With every Uruk-hai that dies

But it will never be seen again by I

For I was just shot three times and I died

So what do you think? Was it good, bad, awful? I'll never know unless you review!

Come back soon for We're Looking for the One Ring.


	4. We're Looking for the One Ring

Ok so it's a little longer this time.

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We're looking for the One Ring (to the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas)

We're looking for the One Ring

We're looking for the One Ring

We're looking for the One Ring

Best give it here

We'll bring back the ring 

For our master Sauron

We're looking for the One Ring

Best give it here

We won't go until we get it

We won't go until we get it

We won't go until we get it

Best give it here

We will follow you

All over Middle earth

We won't go until we get it

Best give it here

We're Sauron's nine Nazgûl

We're Sauron's nine Nazgûl

We're Sauron's nine Nazgûl

Us you should fear

We do the biding

Of our master Sauron

We're Sauron's nine Nazgûl

Us you should fear

A/N: If this one is really bad it's because I thought it up some time around midnight when I was SUPPOSED to be sleeping. The next song is Golden Ring which my friend Markie (Hi Markie!) says is her favorite. In other news… I'm very proud of myself….. I've managed to stay at least one song ahead of the one I'm posting! I have quite a few more to put up (although most of them could use some editing first) due to the fact that I've been sick for a while and had nothing better to do (very sad) but unless you guys review I'm not going to put anymore up. It helps to know that someone is actually reading these when I update. To everyone who did review, THANK YOU!!!!!!!


	5. Golden Ring

I wasn't going to update for another day or so but thanks to Markie, (Everyone thank Markie) I got it out today. And to the people who reviewed THANK YOU!!!!!! All's I really want to know is that your there. And weather you like it or not. So anyone who has accidentally missed the little review button in the corner, that's OK. Now that you know it's there you can tell me what you think!!! On with the singing!!

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Golden Ring (Jingle Bells)

Dashing through the trees

With a fellowship of nine

Being chased by wraiths

The entire time

RUN, RUN, RUN

They all want the ring

That Bilbo gave to me

Oh why is it they must chase me

Every day and night

Golden ring, Golden ring

Evil all the way

Oh why must I carry it to Mordor all the way

Golden ring, Golden ring

Evil all the way

Why must I carry it

To Mordor anyway?

So any way's ….. 1 MORE DAY!!!!!!! Not that you care, but we're putting our tree up tonight! I've been looking forward to it for several days. We have a tendency to torture the cats at Christmas too. We have this little gold sleigh and we have picture of them sitting in it while the other two are in these little harnesses. I know it sounds mean but they're really cute!! They usually get revenge though. Like breaking things or destroying things and blaming it on me. You wouldn't believe what Jakey did this one time……Hey why are you all looking at me that way? Any ways, I'll shut up now.

Oh and the next one is Over the Mountain and Through the Snow. (I know at this point you're thinking ~But they went through Moria not over the mountains!~ but if you come back when I get around to posting it you'll get it)


	6. Over the Mountain and Through the Snow

On with the insaneness!

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Over the Mountain and Through the Snow (Over the River and Through the Woods….. Oh come on everyone's heard that one)

Over the mountains and through the snow

To Mordor we must go

The pass won't let us through

And elves can walk on snow

Over the mountains and through the pass

We know we cannot go

Down the mountain and off the slop

Right back out of the snow

Under the mountains and through the mines

Through Moria we go

It's dark and damp and Balin's dead

And also really cold

Under the mountains and through the mines

We're almost out you know

But we were attacked by goblins and trolls

And a monster from below

Out of the mines and into daylight

To Lórien we go

Gandalf fell with the monster from hell

But he'll be back you know

A/N: This is defiantly NOT one of my favorites. It has probably gone through the most revisions except for maybe Sauron Got Run Over by Isildur which is the next one. I just don't know why I don't like it…. Maybe it was the fact that I used go in ever other sentence til I revised it three times. Huh. Also I updated Here Comes Sauron there are now TWO verses!! I figured I'd give you extra because RotK just came out. Which brings me to the last thing I want to say. I can't wait to go see RotK!!!! If it hadn't been a school night I probably would have gone and seen it Wednesday night. As it is my Mom is talking about Tuesday. That's only a few days away. I guess I can wait. My whole family is thinking about going and seeing it Christmas Eve too. That should be fun. Now that I've taken up as much space as my song has, I will leave you with one word…..and that word is: REVIEW.


	7. Sauron Got Run Over By Isildur

Here we go again!

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Sauron Got Run Over By Isildur

Sauron got run over by Isildur

Who cut the ring right off his dark hand

Some thought Sauron was gone forever

But they were wrong as he proved in the end

Isildur could have destroyed it

Just as Elrond told him to

But instead he kept it

And now the ring will bring Sauron back anew

One day the ring betrayed him

And he was attacked

The ring fell into the Anduin

And Isildur got an arrow in his back

Sauron got run over by Isildur

Who cut the ring right off his dark hand

Some thought Sauron was gone forever

But they were wrong as he proved in the end

The ring was found by Deagol 

Who was cousin to Gollum

And Smeagol killed him for it

And snuck into a mountain cavern

He stayed there for 500 years

In a small cave with a pool

Until Bilbo took the ring from him

While on his way to find a dwarven jewel

Sauron got run over by Isildur

Who cut the ring right off his dark hand

Some thought Sauron was gone forever

But they were wrong as he proved in the end

Bilbo went back to the Shire

And lived there for many years

And on his 111 birthday

He left everything and completely disappeared

The ring was left to Frodo

Who got all of Bilbo's stuff

And Gandalf became suspicious

And went to research a whole bunch of stuff

Sauron got run over by Isildur

Who didn't destroy the ring when he had the chance

Now Sauron is looking for it

And the war of the ring will soon begin

A/N: Well that's it. Don't be surprised if I change a few words or lines every once in a while. This one just likes to be changed a lot for some reason. And I have to thank my friend Andrew (Hi Andrew!) for helping revise this one. It would be much worse if he hadn't helped. The second thing I wanted to say is I'M OUT OF SCHOOL!!!!!!!! This means I'll probably be updating quicker. I say probably because I still have a lot of things I need to do before Christmas. Sooooo…. The next one will be Walking Around the Barrow Downs.


	8. Walking Around the Barrow Downs

On to the next one!!!!!!

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Walking Around the Barrow Downs

Walking around the Barrow Downs

On the way to the inn in Bree

Fog so thick that you can't see

And the mounds are kind of creepy

Walking around the Barrow Downs

Don't take a nap when you stop

When you wake it will be quite late

And no doubt you'll get lost

You will get a very frightened 

Feeling when you see

That your now inside a mound

That's not the best place to be

Walking around the Barrow Downs

Don't be there in the dark

You just may not come back out

Take my warning to heart

A/N: This was originally supposed to be about the Hobbit's trip through the Downs, but the song just wouldn't cooperate so it turned out just about the Downs in general. I admit I feel really guilty. I've been trying to update every other day and I forgot yesterday. I'm going to update tomorrow too, to make up for it. In other news while I STILL haven't gotten to go see RotK. I've been told I'll get to on Friday. It's beginning to seem like other people have planned my whole vacation. I just have people coming up and saying things like: 'Oh your coming to my house on this day' and 'your doing that tomorrow'. It's getting hard to keep track of….. At least I'm not sitting at home staring at the computer screen all day. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Anyways the next song was actually mostly written by my friend Andrew and he asked me to post it. It doesn't have a name so I'm just going to call it Dashing Through the Orcs.


	9. Dashing Through the Orcs

And here's the next one!!!!!

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Dashing Through the Orcs

Dashing through the orcs

With a sword clutched in your hand

Slashing right and left

Cut off Sauron's hand

Gandalf's mighty staff

Blasting Saruman

Helm's Deep is attacked

And blown up with a bomb

Jingle bells Sauron smells

Saruman laid an egg

Helm's Deep is looking bleak

The Ents are in a rage

A/N: This one was mostly written by my friend Andrew, I only helped with one line. He asked me to post it for him though, so if you could all review so he knows what you think that would be great. I've decided to keep posting until New Years so the next one will be Sword Fight. Everyone have a Merry Christmas! Or what ever it is you may celebrate. Please REVIEW!!!!!!!!


	10. Sword Fight

And on we go!

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Sword Fight

Just hear though Uruk-hai screaming

Orcs a screeching too

Come on it's lovely weather

To fight orcs together with you

And now the ground is littered

And blood is splattered everywhere

Come on it's lovely weather 

To kill Orcs without a care

Slash, cut, slash, cut, slash, cut, then stab

Just look at them go

They're running away in fear you know

Slash, cut, slash, cut, slash, cut they die

Just look at them fly

We're fighting along to the song

That a sword makes in your hand

A/N: And I felt guilty about missing one day…sheesh. Well I'm finally back. And I've finally seen RotK!! I can't wait to see it again. But I think I'll wait a little bit longer this time so I don't have to deal with as many people. Crowds make me irritable. You were all right of course…. It was great, it was long, it was great. I could go on but I don't think I should waste your time repeating myself. I also had a question about if you could send these to other people and such….. Go right ahead that's what they're here for! Just as long as you give me a little credit do whatever you want with them! And I have to thank all of you for reviewing…. Wow 42 I feel so loved. When I first started putting these up I figured if I got 20 reviews then I was really lucky, and now…….wow. You guys are great. But this doesn't mean I don't still need your opinions so……..REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!


	11. O Flaming Eye

Oh the insanity of it all!!!

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O Flaming Eye (O Christmas Tree)

O flaming eye

O flaming eye

You look toward the ring bearer

O flaming eye 

O flaming eye

Evil beyond compare-er

The ring is that which you desire

It glows when throne into the fire

O flaming eye

O flaming eye

Your all that's left of Sauron

A/N: Here's the second to last one!!! The next one is It's Beginning to Look a Whole Lot Darker. Being as for once I can't think of much to say I will leave you with this: REVIEW!!!!!!


	12. It's Begining to Look a Whole Lot Darker

Here it is! The last one!!!!

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It's Beginning to Look a Whole Lot Darker

It's beginning to look a whole lot darker

Everywhere you go

There's lava in Mt. Doom

And you can't see the moon

Mordor's army soon will start to grow

It's beginning to look a whole lot darker

Thanks to Isildur

Who didn't destroy the ring

When lava could be seen

Now Sauron's back in Mordor

A/N: Happy New Year every body!!!!! This is the last one!!! I think I may subconsciously dislike Isildur… I mean I keep blaming things on him. I don't do it on purpose, honestly! I may or may not write more next year, it all depends on what you guys say. If you do want me to try writing more then I promise you there should be at least one. So thanks to all of you for reviewing, it made my Christmas a whole lot better!! So tell me what you think and if I should do some more next year!!!! Bye!!!


	13. 12 Days of LotR

A/N: I don't own anything!!! Except for my psychotic mind…… Because I took so long to start updating you get two versions of the 12 Days of Christmas!! On we go!!!

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12 Days of LotR

On the first day of LotR Christmas (insert favorite characters name here) gave to me:

One ring on a chain

Two sons of Denethor

Three Elven rings

Four days in Moria

Five Istari

Six elves a fighting

Seven swords a gleaming

Eight living fellowship members

Nine Ringwriaths

Ten thousand orcs

Eleven shards of Narcil

Twelve arrows flying

Or you could sing this second version!!!

On the first day of Christmas my mother gave to me:

One evil ring created by Sauron

Two elven blades

Three even rings

Four binders of fanfiction

Five cardboard cutouts

Six maps of Mordor

Seven pictures of Middle Earth

Eight elven horses

Nine life size ringwraiths

Ten tickets to New Zealand

Eleven posters of the fellowship

Twelve real elves!

Sorry about taking so long to start updating!!! To tell you the truth this is the first time I've had time to get on the computer for something other than homework since before school started….. I'm going to try and update every day 'til Christmas to make up for it but I can't make any guarantees. Well anyways……REVIEW!!!


	14. Smeagol Was Once A Hobbit

A/N: ehhh…So much for updating every day…..oh well…….here we go!!!

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Smeagol Was Once A Hobbit

(Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)

Smeagol was once a hobbit

Long before he saw the ring

But then the day he saw it

He killed someone to get the thing

All of the other hobbits

Would always run away in fear

Because he would put the ring on

And play his dirty tricks on them

Then when he was turned away

By his dear Grandma

He to the ring into a cave

And stayed there for many days

He became known as Gollum

And turned into a nasty thing

The story of the One Ring

Is now part of history

I'm not so sure about this one…. It's kinda chunky and off…. Anyways, I'll try to have **On We Go** up tomorrow but I won't make any garantees. Everyone make sure you REVIEW so I know how well you like these….or if they're just crap and need to be re-written…Until next time!!!


	15. On We Go

Ok so this one is from Aragorn's point of view. On we go!!!!

On We Go

(Let It Snow)

The weather on Cahadras is frightful

But Moria is less delightful

And there is no other way to go

On we go, on we go, on we go

The snow doesn't show signs of melting

And it's not exactly sweltering

It's been a while since I've been this cold

On we go, on we go, on we go

When I kissed Arwen goodbye

I wasn't sure I would see her again

Sometimes I can't sleep at night

Thinking about when this war will end

Well the mountain is slowly winning

And we aren't exactly grinning

"Through the mines" said Frodo

On we go, on we go, on we go

A/N: I really like this one….it just sounds good to me. Tell me what you think of it…is it really off and I'm just crazy….or is it a well blended mutilation? I'll never know unless you REVIEW!!! I should have **Into Fangorn Forest** up tomorrow, come back and see it!!!


	16. Into Fangorn Forest

Seems I missed a day again…sigh…here's Ch.16!!

Into Fangorn Forest 

(The Christmas Song)

Orc heads roasting on a burning pyre

Their dank smell wrinkling up your nose

Two little hobbits escaped the pile

But right into the woods their trail goes

Everybody knows Fangorn Forest is a scary place

With trees that move and talk too

It's not a place you'd want to be in alone

Especially with an orc after you

The white wizard is on his way

And he isn't the same person that you say

It's really Gandalf still alive

And he's come to help you out instead of die

And so you're heading now to Edoras

To save the king from Sarumon's rule

The hobbits are safe with Treebeard in the trees

And now the rest is up to you

And now the rest is up to you

A/N: Sorry about skipping a day again but my life is kind of hectic right now. We got our tree yesterday and tomorrow's Christmas and I'm not even going to go into how far we've gotten with the rest of the decorating….not to mention that in an hour I'm going over to my Great Grandma's for Christmas Eve dinner. I probably won't update tomorrow because I'll be at my Grandma's house, but you never know…. Ch.17 is **Attacking Helm's Deep** so come back soon!!! AND PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


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